Jace
Neutral
}}Level{2} Experience{-210} Level-II{2} Experience-II{-218} Level-III{1} Experience-III{-344} Level-IV{1} Experience-IV{-348}
Vigilance is my Sword
Posts: 223
|
Kain
Jun 18, 2011 21:43:37 GMT -5
Post by Jace on Jun 18, 2011 21:43:37 GMT -5
ok the profile should be ready to go
|
|
|
Kain
Jun 20, 2011 13:53:46 GMT -5
Post by Zilfer on Jun 20, 2011 13:53:46 GMT -5
This is lacking a lot of details such as his childhood, where did he grow up? Was he always a noble of Coruscant? What about his parents? How did he develope his skills? Where they self taught or learned from another person? How was he trained in the force? Has he always been strong in the force since being born or did it surface near adulthood. Those are some examples of what you can expand on the profile because at the present moment there isn't much to why he has those high scores in the 80's except that he did incredible things, but not how he is able to. Also this is probably your preference but 6'6 for a human is tall? Does he come from a family that is that tall or was he just born that way or genetically modified? Just curious. Some of these questions don't seem to have been improved upon very much. Two things I want to see right away is in the apperance field, I want a description of him and if you could also find a picture that would be great but a picture isn't necessary. Next I would like to hear about his parents, why he was always getting into fights when he was little. Was he picked on because he was tall? Or because he came from a rich family? Details details details! I'll take a futher look into this later today.
|
|
Jace
Neutral
}}Level{2} Experience{-210} Level-II{2} Experience-II{-218} Level-III{1} Experience-III{-344} Level-IV{1} Experience-IV{-348}
Vigilance is my Sword
Posts: 223
|
Kain
Jun 30, 2011 0:06:31 GMT -5
Post by Jace on Jun 30, 2011 0:06:31 GMT -5
1. I recall earlier that you said something like "why does Kain pick so many fights". My answer is that I really don't want think of a reason why other than he's just an asshole.
2. The name Ryu is just a random man I created for these profiles, and before you ask no I will not turn him into a pc he just serves as a plot convince to me. Also it's a reference to Ninja Gaiden.
3. Regarding you point to the Jedi academy not being 14 years old, tell how longs it's been and I'll make the corrections.
4. The assassins thing fixed, if it may be a little weak... or a lot weak depeands if you really care about that.
5. The plot hole of how kain found the assassins employers has been filled
6.
|
|