Where humanity has ended up

[Jace]

wtkr.com/2012/10/11/nc-woman-lights-vending-machine-on-fire-after-losing-money/

This is where humanity has ended up, lighting a vending machine on fire for not getting her 1.50 can of pepsi.

[Jace]

Here are some more examples of oh wonderful humanity.

Police in the Tyumen region in Siberia detained a man who stole 1.5 tons of hay from a local field – only to find out he did it for love.

When did hay become romantic.

Now this next one, I have to admit kind off deering but at the same time fucked up.
MAN GETS LOST IN THE POST AFTER MAILING HIMSELF TO HIS GIRLFRIEND.

A man who decided to mail himself to his girlfriend got lost in the post and passed out by the time he was delivered.

The man was in his box for up to three hours after thinking he would be delivered in around 30 minutes, Orange News reports.
(that's the post office for you)

Hu Seng, from Chongqing in Southern China, decided to have himself delivered by courier to his partner Li Wang as a joke.

However, due to the delay he was not able to jump out and surprise her and had to be revived by paramedics.

"I didn't realize it would take so long," admitted Seng.

He revealed how he "tried to make a hole in the cardboard" for breathing but it was "too thick" and added he did not want to "spoil the surprise by shouting" for help.
(here's an idea shout for help, or at least drill holes in first)

(Now this is kinda endearing, but what if if his girlfriend decided to take it back or if she thought it was a bomb.)


On to our next story and oh god it's fucked up quite literally. Unfortently I don't have a link to this one,

man appears at homes near fort collins tells residents he was 'sent by god to marry' daughters.

(Now this is one of the case where if god is talking to you, he really isn't talking to you. Oh at worst god is just being an asshole.)

"He buddy yea it's god I want you to break into this home because your getting lucky today. Hey Jesus this dumb fuck is accurately doing it.


Now this next one makes me ashamed to being born there.

Man if Florida vandalized woman's home, work, deputies say after calling her 30 times in a day, only to make strange noises or hang up when she answered. Someone had slashed all four of her tires, The woman woke up and found that someone had filled her air conditioner and front door locks with glue.

(one what is your end game pal)

Drzewucki, 44, now stands charged of aggravated stalking following a spate of phone calls, vandalism and threats.


Well thats it for today I'll find more of Humanity gone bad
1. en.rian.ru/russia/20120915/175979962.html

2. www.digitalspy.ca/odd/news/a402531/man-gets-lost-in-the-post-after-mailing-himself-to-girlfriend.html

4. articles.sun-sentinel.com/2012-09-13/news/fl-boca-stalking-arrest-20120913_1_detectives-phone-numbers-woman-works

[Jace]

oh dear sweet god this nights of Where humanity has ended up... well i'm just going to quote you all right now. MY CHILDHOOD.

Banana Boat sunscreens recalled after reports of users catching on fire. The maker of Banana Boat sunscreen is recalling some of its spray-on products in Canada and the U.S. following reports that a handful of people have caught on fire after applying the lotion and coming into contact with an open flame.

www.ctvnews.ca/health/banana-boat-sunscreens-recalled-after-reports-of-users-catching-on-fire-1.1002861

I've read robbers phone in and rob them like that, this right here is going have the biggest yelp score of do not rob again.

Going back to a bank you just ripped off to claim you'd been shortchanged isn't likely to end well.

That's what police say led to an arrest Monday in upstate New York.

Investigators say Bundrage left but returned when he found he hadn't been given $20,000. Officers say they found him at the bank's locked front door, trying to get back in.

(what was the guy thinking. "Hey this isn't 20,000 dollars")
(he's not going to be robbing that bank again worst service ever.)

www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/22/arthur-brundage-shortchanged-bank-robber_n_2003668.html

Mind you this next story is part of the establishment, Vienna cafe's art project allows men to peek into women's restroom

An Austrian artist has installed a one-way mirror in a Vienna cafe that allows men to peek from their restroom into the ladies room.

Alexander Riegler told the daily Heute newspaper Monday that the mirror is an attempt to "stir people into a discussion of voyeurism and surveillance," in an era when almost everyone is being watched.

www.foxnews.com/world/2012/10/22/austrian-artists-puts-one-way-mirror-in-vienna-cafe-allowing-men-to-peek-into/

Now for the holloween part of tonight this only exists because people want to fuck it.

1. Transformers - Optimus Prime Sexy Deluxe Adult Costume. Really someone wants to stick their dick in optimus prime. www.buycostumes.com/Transformers-Optimus-Prime-Sexy-Deluxe-Adult-Costume/69901/ProductDetail.aspx

2. Sexy burt and ernie- How the fuck to do explain this.
shine.yahoo.com/photos/worst-sexy-halloween-costumes-slideshow/-photo-2520510-205400327.html

Honestly if you look closely at these costumes it looks like these two women skinned burt and ernie and wearing them.

3. Sexy honey badger costume- This is the first time i've seen that someone wants fuck a meme.
www.yandy.com/Sexy-Honey-Badger-Costume.php

[Jace]

Im back and sorry for the lack of update, let me just say a few things number one fuck you Dark Souls, number two just finished watching Skyfall Ill probably post a review later this week.

We'll Im sure as you all know election day has passed and to this guy probably itès still going on.

Eric Hartsburg Tattoos Mitt Romney Logo Onto Forehead, Speaks Out After Election

pro-wrestler Eric Hartsburg from Indiana permanently tattooed Romney's presidential campaign logo on his face before the election. Hartsburg was paid $5,000 to get the 5-by-2-inch tattoo after he put his face up "for sale" on eBay.

(kudos to you for suppotiong your runner up in the presidential election, but even if Romney had won that tat is only going to be relevant for 4-8 years tops plus it's on your head, and last time I checked only Mike Tyson can pull that one off.)

This next one is going to make you laugh and it's from Florida

Driver Throws Food, Knife While Fleeing Trooper

A New Port Richey man faces multiple charges after a Florida Highway Patrol trooper noted he was not wearing a seatbelt.

According to an arrest report, the trooper could see the seatbelt dangling in the retracted position while driving near the intersection of Grand Boulevard and Mile Stretch Drive at 12:49 p.m. in New Port Richey on Thursday. But things took a strange turn as the driver passed his patrol vehicle.

The driver, Isidro Martinez, stared at the trooper and "began to laugh uncontrollably," pointing at him.

When the trooper attempted to pull him over, Martinez continued to drive, then suddenly stopped "in an attempt for me to crash my patrol vehicle into his vehicle," according to the FHP trooper's report.

Martinez then threw a bag of food out of his window toward the patrol vehicle and continued driving, the report stated.

As the pursuit continued, Martinez began waving a knife out of the driver's side window, then threw it at the patrol car.

(can everyone say compounding the error, your insurance is not going to cover that since most or even all cop cars come with cameras on them. Alsodonèt throw your lunch at them, know what just donèt throw anything at them they tend not to like that.)

The trooper eventually performed a successful immobilization technique near the intersection of Troublecreek and Vorhees Road, stopping Martinez's white four-door vehicle. Martinez crawled out of the driver's side window and approached the trooper—who had his gun drawn—in a threatening manner, the report stated.

After noting that Martinez did not have a weapon in his hands, the trooper drew back his gun and pushed Martinez back toward his vehicle, where two responding Pasco Sheriff's deputies tased him, the report stated.

This last one just makes me shake my head,

Drunk man walks into a home, fixes himself dinner, and makes off with a box of Klondike bars as couple sleeps on the couch

According to Scranton Police, Steven Johnson, 24, broke into a home early Thursday morning and helped himself to an extravagant dinner of steak, clams, shrimp, and crab legs and washed it down with coconut rum and vanilla vodka before escaping with a box of Klondike bars.

(and I swear if you say the line Ill hunt you down and kill you.)

(This guy walks in and takes all the good food steak, clams, shrimp, crab legs, rum vodka. you fucking asshole.) Plus if this guy cooked all this how did this couple sleep through all this)

Well that's it the links are posted below Ill see if I can post a review of Skyfall later.

1.http://www.democraticunderground.com/10021802845

2.http://newportrichey.patch.com/articles/driver-throws-food-knife-while-fleeing-trooper

3. www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2230540/Drunk-man-walks-home-fixes-dinner-makes-box-Klondike-bars-couple-sleeps-couch.html

[Jace]

I'm back for another segment of Where Humanity has ended up, and let me ask you why do people feel the need to be naked every where they go.

CBS/AP) SAN JOSE, Calif. - Police arrested a naked man wielding a large Samurai sword and recovered an assault rifle from his car after a three-hour standoff with San Jose police on New Year's Day, CBS San Francisco reports.

Coco Bennett, 29, was arrested on suspicion of brandishing a weapon and possession of an assault rifle, San Jose police spokesman Officer Albert Morales said. Police recovered an AR-15-type assault rifle, with a magazine and live ammunition, from Bennett's car during the standoff at the Santa Clara Valley Transportation Authority light, Morales said.

(The guy has a fucking assault rifle why does he decide to use a Samurai sword. No wait better question why is he naked.)

Police received a call at 8:05 a.m. Tuesday of a man armed with an assault rifle in front of a residence near San Jose, Morales said. The suspect was not at the residence when police arrived, but based on witness' descriptions, patrol officers spotted the man's vehicle near the VTA station.

The suspect drove into the station's parking lot, jumped out of his truck naked and brandished his sword at officers while shouting several times, "You're going to have to kill me," Morales said.

(Was this guy disappointed that the end of the world didn't happen.)

"Oh man this sucks the Myans were wrong I'm going to run out naked carrying a samurai sword."
(Dude you dont do that)


You know how the stereotype how everything in Canada revolves around hockey.

On Dec. 31, RCMP received a complaint from a motorist whose vehicle was damaged after he drove off a roadway to avoid a near head-on collision.

Mounties said the offending driver and passenger fled from the scene, but they located the car a short-time later and arrested the driver.

RCMP made patrols in an attempt to look for the passenger with no success but were alerted to a disturbance in the arena at about the same time that turned out to be related.

"The passenger who was also intoxicated had been dropped off at the arena and then proceeded to make her way onto the ice and remove her clothing despite the employees objections, delaying a hockey game," said Mounties in a release.

Tiffany Hourie has been charged with impaired driving, leaving the scene of an accident, and refusal to provide a breath sample.

Brittany Hourie, the passenger, has been charged with indecent acts, obstruction of an officer and causing a disturbance.

The next one is Florida oh god god Florida , this guy pretty much of naked crazy embodies the phrase go hard or go home.... NOT LIKE THAT.

Man punched female driver, got naked, laid down in road,

this guys face I'm putting him up


This guy actually looks like a neaderthall

Deni Noa is accused of reaching into a car stopped at a traffic light on Stock Island and then punching the woman driver in her eye before fleeing the scene on New Year's Eve, according to a news release from the Monroe County Sheriff's Office.



While a responding deputy gathered information from the driver, he heard a report over his radio about a man lying in a nearby roadway close to the Key Haven boat ramp,according to the report.

When another deputy responded, he reported seeing a naked man on the ground and two other men struggling with him, trying to put him into the trunk of a car.

The naked man turned out to be Deni Noa, 24; the other two dudes were his brothers. Noa’s shorts were found nearby and the deputies helped him put them on, the release stated.

(New year's eve he was doing this shit, well going out with a bang for this guy. What were you thinking your dick is not a speed bump.)

1. www.cbsnews.com/8301-504083_162-57561546-504083/naked-man-wielding-samurai-sword-arrested-after-standoff-with-calif-police-report-says/

2. www.sunnewsnetwork.ca/sunnews/canada/archives/2013/01/20130104-202419.html

3. articles.sun-sentinel.com/2013-01-02/news/sfl-getting-naked-20130102_1_deputies-naked-man-restraint-chair

[Jace]

Guess who's back with more crazy THIS GUY well lets dive balls deep into the crazy with our first story.

Rockford man claims Justin Bieber told him to go to high school

A Rockford man was arrested after admitting to police he masturbated during a high school swim meet after receiving a "brainwave message" from Justin Bieber, telling him to go to the school.

Lawrence E. Adamczyk, 49, was arrested Saturday morning by Riverside police during a boys swim meet at Riverside Brookfield High School. According to police, Adamczyk told them he was on his way to Brookfield Zoo to find young boys with whom to have sex. However, he said he received a "brainwave message" from Justin Bieber as he walked past the school, telling him to go inside.

(man I knew justin was evil but not this evil, and oh lord this man's face .)



This is not the best way to do this, in fact this is the worst way to do it.

Dad poses as gunman to test school security, gets arrested

A Texas man is facing third-degree felony charges of making a terroristic threat after he allegedly told elementary school staffers he brought a gun to the building, NBCDFW.com reported.
Officials say Ronald Miller was unarmed Wednesday when he told a school greeter outside Celina Elementary School that he had a gun, according to NBCDFW.com. The town of Celina is just north of Dallas.

The greeter froze in panic when Miller said he was a gunman and his target was inside, Celina Independent School District Superintendent Donny O'Dell told NBCDFW.com. Miller was then able to walk into the school and entered the office.

"He told them that he is a shooter and 'you're dead, and you're dead,'" O'Dell told NBCDFW.com. Never showing a weapon, Miller then reportedly revealed his stunt was a test of school safety and he wanted to talk to the principal.

(this is not the way to do this it's not you really think the school be "thanks for scaring the crap out us we best change out security." No there going to throw your ass in jail.

This next one just makes me face palm wondering why

Australian police arrest four smurfs for suspected ‘crime spree’


According to police reports, a 37-year-old man was walking out of a 7-Eleven just past midnight when he was approached by a gentleman that looked like Papa Smurf, who asked for a cigarette. Papa needs his fix, baby. He offered the giant smurf a cigarette but refused to light it before handing it over so Mr Smurf attacked him. That’s basic Surf cigarette etiquette, yo.

While talking to the smurf the man noticed three more rambunctious young smurfs hotwiring a car. Australian police released the store’s surveillance video to find the four men responsible for the crimes. Three 19-year-olds and an 18-year-old came forward to admit to the crime and were promptly arrested.

(also we have video)

youtu.be/hfvJUgeePmY

The balls on this next fella

Man Crashes Car Into Pizza Restaurant, Orders Pizza

The man who drove his car through the front door of a pizza restaurant in Lincoln, Neb., made the best of a bad situation.

NBC local affiliate WOWT Channel 6 reports that just before noon on Wednesday an elderly man got his foot stuck on the accelerator of his car and drove into a Valentino's pizza restaurant. While concerned citizens called 911, the man placed an order for a pizza.

The man placed his order from inside his car.

(thats not how drive-thu works pal.)

1. www.wrex.com/story/20584408/2013/01/14/rockford-man-claims-justin-bieber-told-him-to-go-to-high-school

2. usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/01/11/16466705-dad-poses-as-gunman-to-test-school-security-gets-arrested?lite

3. fecktv.com/australian-police-arrest-four-smurfs-for-suspected-crime-spree/

4. www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/01/11/pizza-car-crash_n_2450098.html

[Jace]

Alleged Bucket-Wearing Burglar Caught by Police

(the only thing that comes to mind is Mr. Bucket

When Richard Boudreaux arrived at his former employer, Kenney’s Seafood, in Slidell, La., last week, he brought tools to break in and dressed in camouflage and gloves to leave no trace, police say.
Boudreaux, 23, brought everything for the alleged burglary except a mask. When he realized his mistake, police say, Boudreaux grabbed a bucket from the seafood market and threw it over his face.
With the bucket on his head, Boudreaux managed to steal $350 cash from his former employer, according to Capt. Kevin Foltz of the Slidell Police Department. The bucket disguise failed, however, when surveillance video allegedly captured a glimpse of Boudreaux’s face and he was identified by authorities.

(man I can only imagine what that thing must smell like, an alligators ass also under every definition you done fucked up, you only got 350 ducks and they caught you anyways.)

Cross dressing, meth dealing Catholic priest accused of owning sex shop


Monsignor Kevin Wallin, 61, was arrested on Jan. 3 by federal authorities. His arrest resulted from authorities finding evidence of crystal meth and drug paraphernalia in his home.

According to The Connecticut Post, one other suspect was arrested with Wallin. Wallin aka “Monsignor Meth” is allegedly a participant in a cross country drug ring with ties to California.

The U.S. Attorney’s office alleges that between September 2012 and January 2013, Wallin met with an undercover cop and sold shipments of meth six times.

The Post is reporting that diocese officials from the Roman Catholic Diocese of Bridgeport started to be concerned with his erratic behavior in 2011. At that time, a Post source claims that Wallin was investigated by diocese officials.

The investigation began when allegations surfaced that Wallin was “engaging in sex acts, entertaining odd-looking men and cross dressing in the rectory of St. Augustine Cathedral.” Kevin Wallin was suspended by the Diocese in May however; he was paid a stipend until his Jan. 3 arrest.

(this guy, my god)



(you don't do that)

Burglar who cooked pie in underwear avoids jail

(now tell me what is wrong with this headline)

SALISBURY, Md. — A man who broke into a Salisbury home, stripped down to his underwear and cooked a chicken pot pie has received a suspended sentence.

Twenty-three-year-old Russell Neff pleaded guilty to burglary in the August incident. The Daily Times of Salisbury reports that Neff was admitted to a drug treatment court program last week.

Police say they found Neff sitting in a living room chair, using the TV remote control after the burglary.

VA SHORE: Man gets jail time after stealing underwear on way to jail


(how, how the fuck he's going to jail for stealing and then steals underwear)

EASTVILLE A man who stole two pairs of underwear after being told he would need clean skivvies to serve weekends in jail may need even more drawers — he's been sentenced to even more time in jail.

Alvin Rogers, 33, of Painter, was sentenced to five years with two years, six months suspended for third-offense shoplifting. Substitute Circuit Judge Glen A. Tyler, presiding in Northampton Circuit Court, noted that Rogers had already paid the $17.85 in restitution.

Defense attorney Paul Watson told the court late last year that a person checking in for weekends in the Accomack County Jail is required to bring two sets of underwear.

“And that is exactly what he took,” said Watson.

Rogers was observed by a Exmore Dollar General store clerk and seen on surveillance video placing two packages of underwear into his jacket and leaving the store without paying for them.

When he was stopped, Rogers said he took the items so he would meet requirements when he began serving weekend jail time.

Rogers' lengthy, larcenous history is what caused the hefty sentence for the theft of goods whose value was under $20.

(my god 20 bucks for two pairs of underwear)

1.http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlines/2013/01/alleged-bucket-wearing-burglar-caught-by-police/

2. www.examiner.com/article/cross-dressing-meth-dealing-catholic-priest-accused-of-owning-sex-shop

3.http://www.azcentral.com/offbeat/free/20130116maryland-burglar-who-cooked-pie-underwear-avoids-jail.html

4. www.delmarvanow.com/article/20130114/NEWS01/130114007/VA-SHORE-Man-gets-jail-time-after-stealing-underwear-way-jail?nclick_check=1

[Jace]

Im back with more crazy

Break-in suspect masturbates, plays with toy helicopter, eats salad: Fla. Cops

Isn't it great when we start off the day with a Florida Story

Jason Lee Vickery, 23, was charged with burglary and larceny after he broke into a home St. Augustine, Fla., on April 24. Deputies also found a bag of weed, paraphernalia, chewing tobacco and a wig.

A 23-year-old Florida man apparently had quite the Wednesday night.
Jason Lee Vickery broke into a couple's home in St. Augustine on April 24 and proceeded to fly a remote control helicopter, masturbate, and dine on a salad he brought with him before he was arrested, the St. Johns County Sheriff's Office said

According to a police report obtained by the Daily News, Vickery entered the house through an unlocked door. He went upstairs to masturbate and then discovered a remote control helicopter on the kitchen counter, the suspect told the reporting officer.
"After searching for and finding batteries for the toy, he played with it, flying it for a short time, thus depriving the owner of the item," the report said.

ADD at it's finest folks

Vickery told authorities he saw that the house was unlocked earlier in the day and went home to grab a paper bag that contained a wig, a pouch of chewing tobacco, a green towel and a salad before going back. The man was also found to have an orange container filled with marijuana and other drug paraphernalia with him.

I wounder what was going though the guys head at the time, was he like “I'm going to walk into a random home and masterbate, best make my self a salad in case I get hungry.” Or maybe this a daily routine for him/


www.nydailynews.com/news/national/break-in-suspect-masturbates-eats-salad-fla-cops-article-1.1332190#ixzz2ScrNDGV1


Scared burglar arrested after calling police about cat



A scaredy-cat burglar was arrested after he became frightened when he heard a strange noise and rang police from under a bed.

Marius Ionescu, 31, mistook the family cat for another burglar in the house in Benesti, Romania, causing him to head for cover and wait for the authorities to come and rescue him.
When the police turned up they did not discover anyone else in the house except for the burglar himself and promptly arrested him.
‘The noise he heard was probably just the family cat,’ said police spokesperson Mihaela Straub.
‘He already has a criminal record for similar break-ins, and given his nervous disposition, he probably should look for another job.


metro.co.uk/2013/04/22/scared-burglar-arrested-when-he-calls-police-after-hearing-cat-3661645/


Mom says Anne Frank's 'Diary' is porn, fights to pull it from school

A mother in Northville, Mich., has filed a formal complaint against her daughter's school district. Why? For teaching middle-schoolers smut like Anne Frank's classic "The Diary of a Young Girl," of course. Gail Horalek began looking into the renowned diary's content after her daughter told her some of it was making her uncomfortable. (The section in question is, apparently, a passage about Frank's "discovering her genitalia.") Horalek believes the school should have gotten parents' OK before assigning the "pornographic" book to seventh-graders; now she wants the unedited version of the diary removed from classrooms.

now.msn.com/gail-horalek-says-anne-frank-diary-is-porn-fights-to-pull-it-from-school

[Jace]

Photos From The 'Iron Man 3' Promotion In Which Actors Entered A Theater With Fake Guns

Read more: www.businessinsider.com/iron-man-actors-storm-theater-with-guns-2013-5#ixzz2Tqk5w9rM

The Goodrich Capital 8 Theater in Jefferson City, Missouri, thought it would be a really great idea to "entertain" customers who had come to see Iron Man 3, that it hired a bunch of cosplay actors to dress up as the titular character, and an entourage of gun-toting, body-armor wearing "S.H.I.E.L.D." agents from the movie.
In the era following the massacre at a screening of Dark Knight Rises in Aurora, Colo., what could possibly go wrong by having a bunch of people walking around a cinema holding replica automatic weapons?
The theater has since apologized for upsetting its customers, and insisted it was not a publicity stunt. Here are some images of the event from Imgur:



I don't feel all that safe

Man on sailboat masturbated in front of passing boats, deputies say

Whatever floats your boat...except not this.

It's not the way to greet fellow boat enthusiasts.

An off-duty deputy riding down the river spotted 67-year-old Scott Cory Barron allegedly standing on the back of his parked sailboat and masturbating while boats passed by him at the Alva Boat Ramp, reports WBBH NBC News-2.

After Baron told the off-duty office , "[expletive deleted] you!" Baron then explained to an on-duty deputy who had arrived that he was not masturbating -- just exercising, according to the report.

I hate you, I really do

Bulldozer rampage allegedly due to fence

It’s said fences make good neighbors. This time, however, might be the exception.
Barry Swegle is accused of demolishing three homes with a bulldozer and damaging a fourth in Port Angeles, Wash.—all because of a chain-link barricade. He allegedly tore that down, too.
Brother Jeff Swegle told local King 5 news, “If you’re looking for a reason [as to] what set him off, that’s what set him off."

Jeff Swegle said his brother had been feuding with his neighbors about the fence, which he said blocked him from moving his logging equipment in and out. Finally, Barry Swegle allegedly took matters into his own hands with the help of a bulldozer. Swegle is also accused of destroying a boat, a pickup truck and a power pole.

Holy shit dude a boat, a pickup truck and a power pole and four houses, achievement unlocked Badassery

[Jace]

Are you guys ready for me to ruin your day, I sure hope you are.

Marijuana pipe found in 4-year-old's Kid's Meal

A Michigan family was surprised to find a marijuana pipe, rather than the traditional toy, inside their 4-year-old’s Burger King Kid’s Meal.
The family was in Dundee, Mich., visiting a water park when the boy’s grandfather stopped by a local Burger King to pick up food for the youngster. The family discovered the pipe before the boy got to it and contacted police immediately.
Police report that a 23-year-old employee put the pipe in the box in order to hide it while he worked. He had no intention of giving it away.

New ways to hid your marijuana pipe.

Two of the man’s friends have also been charged with drug possession. They were spotted in their car outside the Burger King trying to warn their friend of the police’s involvement.

Here's a little game for you guys, think of ways to play scurades "the cops are coming because you put a hot pipe in the happy meal."

1. usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/07/18/19540460-marijuana-pipe-found-in-4-year-olds-kids-meal?lite

Woman Takes Horse Inside McDonald's, Horse Defecates On Floor


On Saturday the 20th of July Police from Whitefield received a call from McDonald's on Fountain Place regarding a woman on horse using the Drive Thru.
The staff refused to serve the women due to company policy. The women then took the horse into the restaurant who ended up doing his business on the floor.

I got nothing.

The sight & smell of this caused obvious distress and upset to customers trying to eat, as well as staff members.

Officers arrived at the location and woman was issued a Fixed Penalty notice for causing alarm & distress to other customers and staff.

I feel sorry for who ever has to clean that up.

2. www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/22/horse-mcdonalds_n_3634470.html

[Jace]

Bad News: CNN Host Reports Humans Have ‘Hunted The Dildo Into Extinction’

CNN International host Jonathan Mann undermined the point he was trying to make about climate change a bit when he offered up this particular example of previous “man-made extinctions”: “We hunted the dildo into extinction.”

Speaking to a guest about a study that says many animal species won’t have time to adapt to a rapidly warming planet, Mann said, “Now extinctions, I don’t have to tell you, have been a part of the history of the world for millennia. And man-made extinctions have even happened before.”

“I guess we hunted the dildo into extinction,” he let slip, before slowly realizing his mistake. “Um, but, the Dodo, rather, forgive me, I’m having trouble with my words today.”

The Dodo bird species is believed to have perished for good sometime in the 17th century, but, for now at least, the dildo is alive and well.

www.mediaite.com/tv/bad-news-cnn-host-reports-humans-have-hunted-the-dildo-into-extinction/

Man, Clad Only In Boxers, Allegedly Goes On Rampage Inside Pricey Beverly Hills Eatery

BEVERLY HILLS (CBSLA.com) — Beverly Hills Police said a man — clad only in his boxers — went on a vandalism rampage Thursday evening inside a fancy restaurant in the 400 block of N. Canon Drive.

Authorities said they received a call at 9:52 p.m. saying the man was destroying property and throwing glasses around the Enoteca Drago restaurant.

Officials arrived on scene about a minute later and got into a foot pursuit with the man.

The suspect reportedly ran south on N. Canon Drive where he ran into traffic. He allegedly slammed into a car and damaged the windshield.

Police said they needed a Taser to bring the man down to handcuff him. At least half a dozen officers had to subdue the man.

The suspect was later identified as 29-year-old Kishane Karim Almendarez of Los Angeles.

Almendarez was arrested for felony vandalism after being taken to a local hospital for treatment of injuries.

Officials told CBS2′s Cristy Fajardo they believed Almendarez was likely under the influence of drugs.

A witness said Almendarez threw glasses at patrons, knocked over wine bottles and shattered a TV screen inside the restaurant. Prior to the rampage inside the restaurant, witnesses said the suspect went up and down the street creating chaos.

“No one could make sense of what was going on,” said Beth Braun, another witness. “He was half undressed, bottoms gone.”

Fajardo spoke to the restaurant’s managing partner, Steven Piano.

“I’m guessing at least 50 bottles of wine were destroyed,” said Piano. “There was two inches of wine on the wood floor.”

Piano added, “It’s like he was just quietly, calmly, destroying property.”

The suspect is scheduled to appear in LAX Court next month.

Police said no officers or members of the public were hurt during the incident.

2. losangeles.cbslocal.com/2013/07/26/man-clad-only-in-boxers-allegedly-goes-on-rampage-inside-pricey-beverly-hills-eatery/

Two women arrested after fight breaks out inside Chuck E. Cheese

BROOKFIELD (WITI) — Town of Brookfield Police confirm with FOX6 News two 28-year-old women were arrested after a fight broke out inside Chuck E. Cheese on Saturday, July 27th.
Police say they got the call just before 9:00 p.m.
Police say the two women arrested were taken into custody on suspicion of disorderly conduct and battery.
Investigators believe 20 people were involved in a fight inside the Chuck E. Cheese that they believe may have started because a child was taking too long to exchange game tickets for a toy near the end of the night, and parents waiting in line became restless.
Officials believe an argument ensued, leading to punches being thrown, and police say someone used pepper spray inside the business.
Five people were treated for chemical irritation by firefighters, but no one had to be taken to the hospital.
The two people at the center of the brawl were given misdemeanor citations.
Chuck E. Cheese has released a statement in response to this incident:
“We are aware of an incident that occurred on July 27, 2013, in our Brookfield, Wis., store located at 19125 W Bluemound Rd., in which an argument between patrons escalated into a fight. The store manager acted quickly, followed proper safety procedures and contained the scene until local on-duty officers arrived. All of the guests involved in the incident were arrested by authorities. Five people were treated on site for chemical irritation by firefighters, but no one had to be taken to the hospital.
We want to assure parents and caregivers that we take great measures to protect the experience children and families have in our stores. Many of the measures we have in place – such as our Kid Check program, employment of security guards, active security camera systems and additional safety precautions – are transparent to our guests to encourage an environment Where a Kid Can Be a Kid. Despite our efforts, unfortunately altercations occur with a very small percentage of those who visit Chuck E. Cheese’s. And like kids’ soccer and baseball games across our country, typically the incidents are not with the kids — but regrettably the parents. For us, even one altercation is too many. In light of this, we will continue to test and evaluate additional measures for the benefit of our guests – such as increased security camera presence and awareness, re-examining our facility seating arrangements and our party parameters as well as working closely with local authorities – with the goal of deterring future incidences. Maintaining a wholesome, safe experience that sets a standard across our more than 560 locations is of utmost importance to Chuck E. Cheese’s, and we will never stop working to improve how we operate our business.
In the interest of our guests, Chuck E. Cheese’s is working with the police fully during their ongoing investigation and therefore cannot offer more detail at this time.”

3. fox6now.com/2013/07/28/two-women-arrested-after-fight-breaks-out-inside-chuck-e-cheese/

[Jace]

Don't you love it when we start to day out with a crazy Florida story, I sure as hell do

Man charged with false 911 call to keep girlfriend


TAVERNIER, Fla. -- A Florida Keys man says he called in a false kidnapping report to keep his girlfriend from leaving.

Mathew Corp was arrested Saturday and charged with misuse of 911 and resisting arrest. Jail records show the 35-year-old from Tavernier is being held in the Monroe County jail without bond.

Corp told 911 dispatchers that two men driving a U-Haul kidnapped his wife. A notice to be on the lookout for the car was issued over police radios. A woman at Corp's apartment told the responding deputy that she was his "now ex-girlfriend" and that she was moving out.

A sheriff's office statement says Corp was intoxicated, yelling at the deputy and the woman during his arrest. Corp said he called in the false report to keep his girlfriend from leaving.


Read more here: www.miamiherald.com/2013/08/04/3542353/man-charged-with-false-911-call.html#storylink=cpy


You guys ever hear the phrase People have more money than sense

Holy Crap, Hacked Crappers!!!
Information security firm Trustwave has reported a potential cyber-attack vector to a device you may have never expected the phrase "security vulnerability" would be applied (other than in reference to the end of a toilet paper roll, that is). In an advisory issued August 1, Trustwave warned of a Bluetooth security vulnerability in Inax's Satis automatic toilet.

Functions of the Satis—including the raising and lowering of its lid and operation of its bidet and flushing nozzles—can be remotely controlled from an Android application called "My Satis" over a
Bluetooth connection. But the Bluetooth PIN to pair with the toilet—"0000"—is hard-coded into the app. "As such, any person using the 'My Satis' application can control any Satis toilet," the security advisory noted.

"An attacker could simply download the 'My Satis' application and use it to cause the toilet to repeatedly flush, raising the water usage and therefore utility cost to its owner. Attackers could
cause the unit to unexpectedly open/close the lid, [or] activate bidet or air-dry functions, causing discomfort or distress to user."

Read more at www.liveleak.com/view?i=5eb_1375729341#wJxjgsFZdtUCUIMi.99

arstechnica.com/security/2013/08/holy-sht-smart-toilet-hack-attack/


Burglar tried to light kitchen fire twice in same day

Why do people feel the need to break into people's kitchens, also I everyone in this story is at fault here.

DES MOINES, Iowa, Aug. 5 (UPI) -- An Iowa couple said someone broke into their house and attempted to use their stove to start a fire twice in the same day.

The couple told police they arrived at their Des Moines home around 8 p.m. Sunday and discovered someone had turned on the burners of their gas stove and placed a roll of paper towels on the surface, The Des Moines Register reported Monday.

The homeowners said there was smoke, but no flames. They turned off the stove and removed the paper towels before leaving the house again to go to the store.

The couple said they returned about 15 minutes later when they realized they had left a wallet behind, and they discovered the house was filled with smoke with a roll of paper towels placed on the same two lit burners.

Firefighters responded to the home about 8:40 p.m. and extinguished the flames.

The couple said they couldn't think of anyone who would want to start a fire in their home and police have not identified any suspects.

www.upi.com/Odd_News/2013/08/05/Police-Burglar-tried-to-light-kitchen-fire-twice-in-same-day/UPI-39091375734403/


Now I wont blame you if you wanted to get out of your car and punch this man

SI Man Allegedly Tries To Sell Baby On Craigslist



This guy just looks like a dumbass don't he

A Staten Island man was arrested Monday after being accused of trying to sell a 2-month-old baby on Craigslist.
Law enforcement sources say Paul Marquez, 23, told police he posted an advertisement with pictures of the child, looking to sell her for $100.

The Staten Island district attorney's office says that Marquez gave the child's mother's phone number to at least one person who responded to the ad, and the person then tried to buy the child from the mother.

Law enforcement sources say Marquez did it because he grew angry the child's mother stopped paying attention to him.

Sources tell NY1 the two had been out a few times after meeting online.

Marquez is currently being held on $1,000 bail and is expected back in court Tuesday morning.

He faces charges that include harassment and endangering the welfare of a child.

Prosecutors are currently investigating the person who offered to buy the baby.

www.ny1.com/content/top_stories/186691/si-man-allegedly-tries-to-sell-baby-on-craigslist

[Jace]

Drug dealer alerts police to stolen weed

A 19-year-old man was recently arrested after alerting police to the fact that his safe containing a large amount of marijuana and drug money had been stolen from his Murfreesboro residence during a home invasion.

The alleged drug dealer was arrested Aug. 1 after detectives located the safe only a few hours after the home invasion, which occurred in the 1300 block of Wenlon Drive, according to a Murfreesboro Police Department arrest report filed by Detective David Harrison Jr.

It was on this same night, Harrison said, the man allegedly told Officer Carl Wilkins that he was upset because “he sold marijuana” for a living and the “only item taken from the home was a safe.”

Upon finding a safe that matched the description of the missing one, detectives took it to the Murfreesboro Criminal Investigations Division building and waited for the man to come and pick it up. Once there, a K9 officer “alerted to the safe, indicating the odor of narcotics” was coming from the safe.

“(The man) came to the detectives office building, where he identified the safe as his and stated all contents in the safe were his,” Harrison said in the report. “I advised (the man) of the K9 alert and asked for consent to look in the safe and for the combination.

“He agreed and opened the safe, where a half-pound of marijuana was located in glass jars, plastic bags used for redistributing marijuana, a bag with pills and $930 in U.S. currency.”

When confronted with the information, the man reportedly “admitted that was drug money in the safe and he sold marijuana for profit,” at which point he was arrested and charged with felony possession of a Schedule VI substance.

The man has since been released from the Rutherford County Adult Detention Center on a $3,000 bond. It remains unclear whether he has decided to get a legal job, at least for now, while he awaits a

1. www.murfreesboropost.com/bizarre-drug-dealer-alerts-police-to-stolen-weed-cms-36511

Warning over testicle-biting fish in Denmark? It's all wet

Fuck you nature, FUCK YOU

(CNN) -- It is safe to go back into the water again -- at least in Scandinavia.
A warning over the weekend for male swimmers off the coast of Denmark and Sweden to protect their private parts because of a testicle-munching fish appears to have been a joke that got out of hand.

After a Danish fisherman caught a South American pacu among his eels and perch this month, a professor at the Copenhagen Museum of Natural History told men to be careful because the fish sometimes mistake male reproductive organs for tree nuts, one of their favorite foods.
"Anyone choosing to bathe in the Oresund these days had best keep their swimsuits well tied," Professor Peter Rask Moller said in a Saturday news release about the fish discovery in the strait separating Denmark and Sweden.

Wednesday, however, Moller said he was just joking and never meant for his warning to get so much publicity.

"We did say that we recommend men to keep their swimsuits tied up until we know if there are more pacus out there in our waters," Moller told CNN by e-mail. "Of course, this is half a joke since it is very unlikely that you would actually meet one here and that it would bite you. It's up to people themselves how careful they want to be. I'll keep my shorts on, though."

Finding a pacu, a close relative of the piranha normally found in South America, is unusual so far north. Moller said it was likely dumped in the strait by an amateur aquarium owner or fish farmer.

William Fink, a piranha researcher at the University of Michigan who is also curator of fishes at the school's Museum of Zoology, poured water on the pacu warning. For one thing, he said, pacus are vegetarian -- and there's no record of them attacking a human.

"They're fruit eaters. Those big crushing teeth they have is for crushing seeds," he said.
Pacus tend to swim under fruiting trees during high water, waiting for the trees to drop their fruit, seeds and nuts, Fink said. The fish then swim to the surface to eat the tasty morsels.
In fact, Fink said, that's how fishermen catch them: by putting a piece of fruit on the end of a line and letting it float in the water. Pacus swim up to grab it and then get caught.
"The nuts that they're eating, the fruits that they're eating, are splashing down from above, and humans don't act like that when they're swimming," Fink said.

And unlike piranhas, which have rigid, razor-sharp interlocking teeth, pacus have teeth that resemble human molars and fit together in a similar bite, Fink said. The pacus use those teeth to crush their food, not to rip it apart -- or off.

He speculated that the pacu found in Denmark was probably released shortly before it was found because pacu species can't survive in either saltwater or chilly temperatures.
"It's just too cold for pacus to be living there. They certainly wouldn't make it through the winter," or even past October, he said.

CNN was among numerous news outlets around the world that reported the Danish news release over the weekend, focusing on the special warning for male swimmers.
Moller said he only meant to publicize the surprise discovery of a pacu in the Baltic and to advise the public that the fish can be invasive and possibly dangerous.
"The story about the 'nuts' was never meant to be the headline. But it certainly got people's attention," Moller told CNN. "I'm sorry if it has caused you any trouble. It was a bit of a joke, but I still will keep my swimsuits tied up, and I will never swim in an aquarium with these fishes."

2. www.cnn.com/2013/08/10/world/europe/scandanavia-swim-warning

[Jace]

Im back to ruin your day... and your faith in humanity

Fired Coach: I'm Taking the Kids to Hooters Anyway

A Portland, Ore.-area middle school football coach who was fired for planning an awards party at a Hooters restaurant says he's going ahead with the event without school backing.

And Hooters says it will pick up the bill Saturday and make a donation to the Corbett Middle School boosters club.

The district's athletic director fired Randall Burbach this week and withdrew its support for an event at Hooters, where waitresses wear shorts and tight shirts.

The first-year volunteer coach refused to move the after-season party to another location because Hooters is where the boys wanted to go and he believes it's a family restaurant.

KGW reports the Jantzen Beach Hooters is picking up the tab and donating $1,000 plus 20 percent of Saturday sales to the school's boosters club.

1. www.nbcbayarea.com/news/weird/Fired-Coach-Hooters-Bash-Oregon-Football-Party-231034711.html


This next one, I kid you not is real

'Oral sex' definition prompts dictionary ban in US schools

A parent's complaint over a 'sexually graphic' definition has seen dictionaries removed from southern Californian schools.

Dictionaries have been removed from classrooms in southern California schools after a parent complained about a child reading the definition for "oral sex".
Merriam Webster's 10th edition, which has been used for the past few years in fourth and fifth grade classrooms (for children aged nine to 10) in Menifee Union school district, has been pulled from shelves over fears that the "sexually graphic" entry is "just not age appropriate", according to the area's local paper.
The dictionary's online definition of the term is "oral stimulation of the genitals". "It's hard to sit and read the dictionary, but we'll be looking to find other things of a graphic nature," district spokeswoman Betti Cadmus told the paper.
While some parents have praised the move – "[it's] a prestigious dictionary that's used in the Riverside County spelling bee, but I also imagine there are words in there of concern," said Randy Freeman – others have raised concerns. "It is not such a bad thing for a kid to have the wherewithal to go and look up a word he may have even heard on the playground," father Jason Rogers told local press. "You have to draw the line somewhere. What are they going to do next, pull encyclopaedias because they list parts of the human anatomy like the penis and vagina?"
A panel is now reviewing whether the Menifee ban will be made permanent. The Merriam Webster dictionary joins an illustrious set of books that have been banned or challenged in the US, including Nobel prize winner Toni Morrison's Song of Solomon, which last year was suspended from and then reinstated to the curriculum at a Michigan school after complaints from parents about its coverage of graphic sex and violence, and titles by Khaled Hosseini and Philip Pullman, included in the American Library Association's list of books that inspired most complaints last year.

2. www.theguardian.com/books/2010/jan/25/oral-sex-dictionary-ban-us-schools

"Batman" jailed for multiple offences

SINGAPORE: With a name like Batman, one would have thought the 23-year-old man would aspire to do good.

But on Monday, the man -- who is actually named Batman Suparman -- was jailed two years and nine months for multiple theft and housebreaking offences.

Batman admitted to six counts of theft, two counts related to house trespass, one for housebreaking and one for drug consumption between June and August this year.

The prosecution proceeded on three of the 10 charges.

The court heard that Batman broke into SGF Billards & Marketing Singapore at Depot Road in the wee hours of the morning in August, and stole S$200.

On other occasions, Batman stole the ATM cards of his elder brother Nurazman Suparman, and made withdrawals totalling S$850.

During sentencing, the court heard that Batman is a first offender and a young one at that.

For housebreaking, he could have been jailed between two and 14 years.

The maximum punishment for theft is three years in jail and a fine.

3. www.channelnewsasia.com/news/singapore/batman-jailed-for/882272.html

[Jace]

Manatee man, impersonating police, stops Tampa officer

Tampa police late Sunday arrested a Manatee County man, accusing him of using red and blue flashing lights in his Chevrolet Tahoe to stop a Tampa officer to alert the officer of a reckless driver in Ybor City.

Jonathan Charles Stevens, 24, was charged with impersonating a police officer, unlawful use of blue lights and carrying a concealed firearm. It is the second time in three months Stevens has been charged with impersonating a police officer.

Stevens was in his 2009 Tahoe, which was equipped with red and blue lights, and tried to pull over a Tampa officer around 10:30 p.m. Sunday near the corner of Seventh Avenue and 17th Street in Ybor City, police said.

He told the officer he wanted to report a reckless driver and said he was a Department of Homeland Security officer. Stevens said he had a Glock .45-caliber handgun and wore a badge around his neck.

Just before turning on his lights, he called police dispatch to report the same reckless driver, police said.

The officer found that the vehicle was not a police or emergency vehicle and did not belong to a government agency. Stevens later admitted he was not a law enforcement officer, police said, and he does not have a concealed weapons permit.

Stevens was released Monday morning after posting $17,500 bail, jail records show.

Manatee sheriff’s deputies arrested Stevens on Sept. 7 after hearing a siren and watching him turn on blue and red lights on his Tahoe and pull a woman over in the parking lot of the Ellenton Outlet Mall. Deputies said they were sitting in an undercover vehicle in the parking lot when they heard a siren and saw the Tahoe pulling a young woman over.

After a brief interaction, the woman drove away and the driver of the Tahoe parked it in a fire lane and went into a coffee shop. Deputies ran the license plate of the Tahoe and found it was not registered to a law enforcement agency. They contacted the woman, who said the man who pulled her over told her he was an off-duty police officer.

Three days later, deputies showed up at Stevens’ home and questioned him about the incident. They said he admitted to pulling the woman over and knew what he was doing was wrong. He said he had been warned by friends in law enforcement that he could get into trouble doing this.

A woman who answered the telephone at Stevens’ home on Monday said he no longer lives there.


Woman Busted For Attacking Live-In Boyfriend When He Refused To "Cuddle" In Bed


A Florida woman was arrested early Saturday for battering her live-in boyfriend after he refused to “cuddle” with her when they went to bed, police report.

Shavonna Rumph, 31, and Henry Price, 33, “had been drinking together at their residence and had been doing so throughout the night,” according to a Manatee County Sheriff’s Office report.

The couple subsequently quarreled, a deputy reported, “over Henry refusing to ‘cuddle’ with Shavonna when they went to bed.” The argument “turned physical when Shavonna grabbed Henry by the shirt, causing it to tear.” Price then attempted to leave the couple’s Bradenton residence to “prevent any further argument and Shavonna didn’t want him to leave.”

“At one point during the argument Shavonna had picked up a kitchen knife as if she was going to use it to hurt or stab Henry,” noted investigators, who added that neither party was injured during the confrontation.

Rumph, pictured above, was charged with misdemeanor domestic battery and booked into the county jail, from which she was released Sunday.


Starbucks 'toilet water' coffee prompts anger in Hong Kong

A Starbucks café in Hong Kong's financial district that used water from a tap near a urinal to brew coffee has prompted a torrent of angry reactions from customers.

he coffee shop, in the famous Bank of China Tower, has been using the water from a tap in a lavatory to make beverages since its openingin October 2011.
Images from local newspaper Apple Daily showed the tap with a sign that said "Starbucks only" a few feet away from a urinal in the dingy washroom, which the paper said was in the building's car park.
"Totally disappointed! The initial decision by Starbucks to use water from toilet is a clear sign of your company's vision and the level of (dis)respect your company has for the health and mind of your customers," Kevin L wrote on the Starbucks Hong Kong Facebook wall.
"I'm now really worried when I purchase coffee from Starbucks. Who knows which other stores are using the similar practice! Scary!!" he wrote.

1. tbo.com/news/breaking-news/manatee-man-impersonating-police-stops-tampa-officer-20131230/

2. www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/boyfriend-attacked-over-cuddle-refusal-576413

3. www.telegraph.co.uk/foodanddrink/foodanddrinknews/10088930/Starbucks-toilet-water-coffee-prompts-anger-in-Hong-Kong.html