Korriban duel. (Nikana Vs Ryuu Sartori.)

[Ragsmire]

The sun sat high in the sky, during the harsh Korriban solar noon, it was perched at its highest point above the planet's surface in a long time. From its advantageous position above all else, nestled perfectly in the background of the orange Korriban sky, the powerful star, cast waves of heat and light upon the planet, and more specifically, the Valley of the dark lords.

Looming pools of darkness had spread across the bone yard like tendrils wrapping around its unsuspecting prey. The shadows crisscrossed, and intersected with each other. At the zenith of the valley was the old Sith Academy, once it was the glorious training institute that Darth Reven himself would ventured through during his quest to locate the star forge.

The old tomb's hollowed walls, and empty chambers, now stood only has a monument to the Sith's ultimate failure. How there destructive tendencies, time and time again, have led to their final downfall. And yet, over and over, they continue to rise, only for the same pattern to befall them once more.

The primary chamber of the room had long since been consumed by the darkness, drowning in almost complete and utter blackness. The enclosure held only a single source of light at its heart, which radiated outright to several corridors, and could be seen from dozens of different angles, like a beacon calling fourth toward any and all whom could answer its siren. The light pouring out of from the chamber's axis was from a natural source, produced from the sunlight outside, and only dimly lit that which lay beyond its immediate reach.

Lingering just outside that reach was a lone figure, standing at the shadows edge, the spectra was a lean and tall being, seemingly human in appearance. He was clad in a dark sweater, and pants to match. With those dull colors being offset by the vibrant white lab coat, distinctive yellow eyes, and pale hair giving his character some amount of humanity.

He gazed outward at the antechamber from the hallway leading further down into the former residency section of the temple, reserved for acolytes and new trainees. The being's name was just as fake as his new twisted appearance, Nikana. A Moniker he'd given himself to hide from a corrupted past, But now he came to the sith world looking for possible answers.

Answers to what, exactly? He wasn't sure himself, he only knew he'd know it once he found it, if he ever did. The possibility that this entire quest was just a wild goose chase had occurred to him, that perhaps he was fooling himself into believing that some great elucidation would reveal itself during this odyssey.

[Cain]

A more despondent and lifeless pit Ryuu could not recall. The Valley of the Dark Lords was, as it always had been, a bleak and dusty monument to a history of bitter hatred and bloodshed. Though the bones of the dead still lay where they'd fallen upon meeting their final end, the darkness which consumed them and ultimately sealed their sad fate still lingered heavily upon the air. It was an objectionable and disgusting presence in the Force which sent chills riding up and down Ryuu Sartori's spine. Ryuu had been trained by the Jedi, and like many among their ranks who have fallen the feel of the dark side was all at once terrifying and intoxicating. When he'd first been introduced to it Ryuu was overwhelmed by the powers of the then Lord of the Sith, Darth Cain. Now, however, after years of accumulation of his own anger and hate, Ryuu has become but a shadow of his former self, twisted by the consequences of his darker desires. The fair skin of Ryuu's once youthful face now bares blisters and scars upon it's right side, a memento from the Dark Lord himself.

Stepping onto the dusty surface of Korriban now is not the boy who once bore the title, "Jedi Knight". Striding purposefully toward the ruins of the old Sith Academy now was a Sith garbed in black robes and simple durasteel plate armor that shielded his vital organs on his chest and back. The Sith's cloak hung down from his right side, concealing the burnt flesh of his right hand and the single lightsaber on his belt. His hood had already been tossed back by the driving wind in the Valley of the Dark Lords and a thin film of dust had accumulated over his garments as he entered the relative stillness of the Sith Academy.

The air was still inside, but the Force still raged with all the ferocity of a storm. A chill shot down Ryuu's spine as he stood in the shadows of the academy's entrance. It was caused by the same repugnant sort of presence that Ryuu had first felt in Cain. It was a perversion of the Force that could only be caused by the use of the dark side.

Stalking forward as if he were a vornskr who had just caught the scent of his prey, Ryuu moved into the Sith Academy's primary chamber. The light in large central room was scarce with only a single beam loosed from a breach in the stone to melt away the darkness. The target of Ryuu's disdain was hidden away from this light in the shadows, but Ryuu could feel his presence quite clearly.

Ryuu stepped into the beam of light and tossed his cloak back over his right shoulder, making the lightsaber that hung from his hip plainly visible, "It never fails..." Ryuu spoke into the shadows with a short, subdued voice as if he expected his target to be standing right in front of him. As he spoke Ryuu unclipped his lightsaber from his belt and held it in his right hand, "venture into the dark and dank corners of the galaxy and there you find the Sith, cowering in the shadows like roaches. Just flick on the light-" Ryuu ignited his lightsaber, flooding the chamber with a crimson red light and revealing Nikana's position, "and they scatter..."

[Zilfer]

Rag:


I like the description you used in your post. You laid out the scenery very well. I also enjoyed the creativity you gave when you said that there was only one source of light within the Sith Academy. Very well written though I think you could have given a bit more of your actual Character being there. You gave his description very well but his inner thoughts and feelings are mostly to me left out.

8/10


Cain:

You have good description of Korriban as well. I like how you get to see the insight of the character and his reactions to the environment. You can defiantly tell this character has a history with this place. You described your character's appearance very well as well. Including dust from Korriban on your person, was realistic and served to remind me how dirty Korriban really is.

9/10

[Ragsmire]

The subtle rustling of the once still air within the chamber would seem, to most, as nothing more then a simple draft blowing through the academy. However, one with a keen sense, and vast perception into the force, would know its true source. A sensation of apprehension swept over the doctor as he scanned his contiguous surroundings, the feeling was bred from the pure excitement he felt brimming from the situation. Subtle scratches of a dark cry clawed at the back of his skull, Forged from the idea of the on coming storm. Trying to get inside, give him ideas that weren't his own, sick notions that he'd never contemplate.

This feeling was not a foreign one, Nikana had experienced it several dozen times prior, like during his initial meeting with Cain, or during his time imprisoned at Artus Prime. Darkness had a way of creeping into his mind, no matter how much he attempted to fight it. Always giving him these images, these pictures that just shouldn't be. His hands balled into tight fist as the visage of his antagonist stalked forward. Nikana could vaguely make out the beings features through the low lighting of the chamber.

He appeared young, though experienced, no question about that. It seemed as if, in his short life, he'd been through more then most would in two lifetimes. What most clearly spoke this fact were his eyes, Dark pools of intensifying anger. He was out for vengeance, against whom exactly, only he might know. The warrior threw his robe across his body, proudly declaring his intention for battle.

He snapped the blade to life moments after alluding to Nikana's life as a Sith, coinciding with the end of his introduction. The light from the saber bled into Nikana's eyes, nearly blinding him due to the ample amount of time he'd spend searching through the catacombs of the academy. The light seeped it's way into every nook and cranny within a twelve meter radius, leaving no place to hide, should one opt to.

As his vision gradually adjusted to the artificial light of the blade, its gentle hum easing away the Twisted suggestions of those dead voices in his head. The features of the young combatant came into clear view. The darkside had twisted him far more corruptly then even Nikana could have imagined. The entire right side of his face had become distorted, and morphed by some dark power, perhaps his own.

Nikana had more then his fair share of darkness, ever since starting HYDRA, all those years ago. He would become versed in dark arts, not by a master whom lured him away from the proper teachings of the force, nor by a lust for vengeance. But by a desire to understand, and comprehend it all, which has ultimately ended up twisting him just like it has every other, there is no line between dark and light, once consumed by it, very few escaped it.

Despite the undeniable fact that he was a slave to it, Nikana had never, and was seldom, acknowledged as a Sith of any stature, and refused to be confused as one. Summoning a voice to match Sartori's, Nikana chose to remedy his mistake. "I've become a servant to the darkness, just as you have, There's no doubt about that. However, contrary to the looks of it. I'm no Sith; only a fool."

The remark was clearly intended to reflect the Doctor's own poor choices, and to that extent, any who falls prey to the lure of power the darkside grants. Seldom does one venture down this path and end up on the other end unscathed.