Crowning Moment of Funny

[MikDaTv]

So why is it that Vader's robotic arms make it impossible for him to perform Force Lightning? The explanations I have heard is that if Vader were to generate it then it would short-circuit his arms and render them useless or that any lightning he generates would somehow reflect back on him and short-circuit his entire suit and cause him to suffocate to death without his iron lung functioning. The problem I have with the first is that it is quite possible to offer some form of protection against electrical pulses shorting out machinery, in our own world we have made EMP resistant technology so Vader should have something similar. The problem I have with the second is that a projectile shouldn't be reflecting back on you unless an opponent deflected it, beams of energy aren't like boomerangs, but the iron lung having to constantly keep Vader alive is understandably not capable of being reinforced with its already sensitive electronics so it being shorted out makes sense were he to be hit with it which is why he dies in Return of the Jedi.

I don't know of the movies themselves (remember, this is an ITJB page about the movies and the movies alone) ever establishing that he's incapable of force lightning, but if he is then I think that's likelier to be due to the Emperor never teaching him than to anything involving his cybernetic condition. The master must reserve some tricks for himself lest the pupil learn too much.

Well the EU establishes that he can't, but from just a movie perspective the fact that we never see Vader use it seems to suggest there is something preventing him. Not that it really matters since Vader is 80% of the Emperor and can do such amazing things as force choking a guy on an entirely different space ship, he doesn't really need force lightning but it would be nice if he could.

From the archives:
The emotion for Force-choking someone is "I hate you specifically so much I want you to die twice". The emotion for Force lightning, a far less precise and discriminatory use of the Dark Side, is "I'M SO MAD I'MA GONNA BREAK EVERYTHING URRRAAAGH".
This explains why Darth Vader can't use it — not just that his cyborg body can't handle it, but he's also way too mopey and tormented inside to indulge in Palpatine's exultant break-everything gleeful rages. Palpatine smiles, cackles, expresses sheer exultant anti-joy at the pleasure of being evil * all the time* ; Vader, by contrast, never seems happy at all.

More specifically, the overwhealming majority of Vader's hate is directed at himself. He can force-choke by hating someone specifically if he tries hard and focuses on them, but if he tried just letting all the hate out, since most of his hate is for himself rather than the world in general, he'd just electrocute himself, as opposed to Palpatine, who hates everything except himself.

If the emotion is "I'M SO MAD I'MA GONNA BREAK EVERYTHING URRRAAAGH", then how the hell can you aim it?

By pointing your fingers, obviously.

Is it necessarily your fingers? I haven't thought of that until now. It doesn't make any sense that The Force would just somehow gravitate to one particular spot on one's anatomy. Is it possible, for example, for a Sith to fire lightning out of his ass? Now that I'd like to see!

[Zilfer]

If your focusing the energy through your limbs in which some people after using force lightning get scars or burns, one of the two. You don't think it's not effecting their body and thus could effect Vaders suit? Also if you make it EMF proof wouldn't that mean that electricty wouldn't be able to flow out of it?

>.> Your also going to have to give me a little lesson in EMF because I thought EMF was the magnetic feild created by electricty not the damaging part of electrity itself. *shrugs* i'm off to see the wizard now!

[MikDaTv]

I don't know, you'd have to ask the folks at TVTropes.com

and Electromagnetic fields are caused by an electric current and in turn can cause electric current. An EM field is used to generate electricity and electricity is used to generate an EM field.

[MikDaTv]

We just want to remind you that Tony Stark built his arc reactor in a cave! (pause) With a box of scraps! This one's getting popular enough where people look for excuses to insert it into every single page that has an Iron Man trope.

We only need to use this meme once. That's how this troper did it, that's how America does it, and it's worked out pretty well so far.

[MikDaTv]

I will explain to my Legions of Terror that guns are ranged weapons and swords are not. Anyone who attempts to throw a sword at the hero or club him with a gun will be summarily executed.

Even though I don't really care because I plan on living forever, I will hire engineers who are able to build me a fortress sturdy enough that, if I am slain, it won't tumble to the ground for no good structural reason.

[Damocles]

God why did I ever show you that TVtrope website, anyway, I'd like to see that ass lightening theory, someone willing to give it a try here?

[MikDaTv]

Bruce Lee was actually quite the combat pragmatist and was never shy about how he felt about martial arts skills vs. guns, and even asked a few times if he could use one in his movies. Let's be perfectly clear here, given the choice between showing off his well-earned skills and shooting someone in a real fight, one of the greatest martial arts masters of all time would opt for the gun.

[MikDaTv]

Learning that the cantina band from A New Hope were supposedly called the "Jizz Wailers". Accidental Innuendo? Perhaps. Narm? With a name like that, yes.

And that entire style of music in the Star Wars 'verse is called Jizz. Logically leading to musical sub-genres as hot jizz, cool jizz, smooth jizz, big band jizz... you get the idea.

• Yes, and now I'd very much like to get rid of it.
  
  
• Cannot unsee. WHY, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHY?
  

[MikDaTv]

"You may win the occasional battle against us, Vorrik, but the Empire will always strike back."

[MikDaTv]

and from the entry on Starship Troopers the movie...


Hollywood Tactics: The protagonists in this film are easily some of the worst tacticians in movie history, but unlike most films, all of their incredibly bad ideas don't actually work, and by and large the human troops are completely slaughtered.

Ships parked shoulder-to-shoulder in orbit? Check.

Underestimating an enemy that can throw asteroids at you from across the galaxy? Check.

No artillery, armor, or air support for your massive ground assault, even when clearly shown having carpet bombing capabilities? Check.

Attempting the Zerg Rush when the other side is the Zerg? Check.

No actual tactics whatsoever? Checkmate.

The Bugs, on the other hand, make excellent use of what they have available. They routinely use ambushes and combined-arms tactics.

Bear in mind the above is from the Battle of Klendathu. Afterwards the Federation gets a little more clever, but their main ground force seems to consist of nothing but plain ol' infantry, fucking walking' to their destination.

[Gamov]

Oct 12, 2010 15:53:17 GMT -5 MikDaTv said:

Bear in mind the above is from the Battle of Klendathu. Afterwards the Federation gets a little more clever

Notice that all of that cleverness only shows up once Michael Ironside arrives on set. Before that, the infantry couldn't even fight simulated enemies without getting killed.

I've had plenty of the same thoughts on this movie as well though. My biggest question was always the matter of why the Federation would have spent a crap ton of money on space ships, but then somehow neglected to put guns on those ships so they could, oh I duuno, shoot the asteroids or maybe nuke a planet filled with bugs so you don't have to send hordes of infantry to the surface to die in the most horrendous CG ways possible.

It's pretty sad when Jake Busey's character actually made the most sense of any other character in the movie. "Why do we need to learn how to throw knives in a nuke fight? Just push a button and its all over."

Then Mr. Drill Sergeant demonstrates the need for waves of mindless infantry by throwing a knife into Jake's hand and uttering some completely stupid phrase that made no sense given the context of the whole film.

[MikDaTv]

Well, after klendatwhatever they started glassing planets. The premise was that the first sky marshal was a dick who thought he knew everything and decided to attack their homeworld in one huge massive attack.

after he retired in shame, the new sky marshal started playing things right and removing bug colonies on the fringes of their space with carpet bombing and orbital bombardment.

[MikDaTv]

DATA: The transporters conveniently failed after sending Picard, so I'm going to leap across space to get to Shinzon's ship.

GEORDI: What about the transporters in the shuttles?

DATA: Shut up.

GEORDI: What about the Captain's Yacht?

DATA: Shut up.

GEORDI: Why didn't we just send a bomb instead of Picard?

DATA: Shut up.

GEORDI: What about the transporters in the cargo bays? They're independent units, remember?

DATA: What part of "shut the fuck up" do you not understand? This is my big heroic exit, asshole. Don't fuck it up.

[MikDaTv]

The Umbrella Corporation in the Resident Evil film series seem to live and breathe Stupid Evil. Their actions are geared entirely towards nothing more than propagating the existence of a deadly, uncontrollable virus that has no discernible practical applications.

[Zilfer]

destroying the world seems like a good application.